It’s Personal Finance 101: If you want to be good with money, you have to learn how to save it. But there are only so many slices of avocado toast you can refuse. At some point, being good with money requires something a bit more difficult: earning more of it.
As awkward as the conversation can be, making more money often means asking for more money. But for many of us, the idea of asking for a raise is unimaginably awkward. It feels audacious and greedy, like you might as well be asking for a kidney or firstborn child.
“I recommend that people ask for a raise at least once a year, as part of an annual review,” said Devon Smiley, a negotiation consultant.
Some employers offer regular cost-of-living raises, but the economy has thrown a wrench in the concept of the traditional salary review.
“But that doesn’t mean you’re limited to that opportunity to discuss your salary and seek an adjustment,” Ms. Smiley said.
Consider this: Yes, you’re asking for more money, but you’re also bringing value to your company. Ideally, you’re making them more profitable in your own way, with your own unique set of skills. If you’re not sure how much to ask for, use sites like Glassdoor.com or Payscale.com to research how much your skills and role command, on average.
Follow behind big wins. If you’ve recently scored a big work accomplishment or finished a successful project, use that milestone to make the case for your raise.
“You want to enter a salary negotiation on a high note, with indisputable evidence of the value you’re contributing to the company,” Ms. Smiley said. Evidence is important. If you’re overdue for a raise, simply asking might be all you need to do, but it can’t hurt to be prepared.
“For example, instead of saying that you had ‘great success in the new product launch’, try ‘the launch exceeded target by 10 percent, bringing in 1,000 new customers,’” Ms. Smiley said. Think about the situation from your boss’s perspective. Quantifiable evidence makes it easier for them to approach the higher-ups and ask for an increase, based on value.
However, gender can play a significant role in these discussions. Dr. Alice Stuhlmacher, department chair of DePaul University’s psychology department, has found that women often pay a social penalty when they negotiate. That is to say, women may be viewed as unlikable when they ask for a raise.
“Women should be extra prepared with documentation and comparison information,” she said.
“Our general expectation for women is to be nice and put others’ needs before their own,” Dr. Stuhlmacher said. In other words, women aren’t expected to be assertive, which makes negotiation tricky. While organizations should ultimately own this issue, Dr. Stuhlmacher said, there are some tactics that women might find especially helpful. “Some find it helpful to have a champion, involving others to help advocate for them,” she added. Here’s some advice on standing up for yourself.
Timing is important. Don’t drop the question on your boss in passing. Ask to schedule a meeting during which you can sit down and talk specifically, and only, about salary. Ms. Smiley recommends an in-person conversation rather than via email or over the phone, but be mindful of your work dynamic. If you’re a freelancer who works remotely a thousand miles away, asking for a phone meeting will have to suffice. Either way, try to schedule that meeting at least two weeks in advance, which gives both parties time to prepare.
Ms. Smiley suggested a quick script you can use when you ask for a meeting: “I’d like to meet to discuss my performance, contribution and compensation.” Use your own words, of course, depending on your relationship with your employer, but be specific in your invite and mention you’d like to talk about salary so your request doesn’t come as an uncomfortable surprise.
Consider budget cycles. “Even though discussions may not happen until April, for example, those budgets have been decided months earlier, and that is when you need to start laying the groundwork for your raise,” Ms. Smiley said. This gives your boss a head start so they have time to go to bat for you with the finance department. You can talk to your direct manager or H.R. department about your company’s budget cycle, but it’s probably a better idea to ask colleagues who have been with the company for a while.
“They’re likely to know if the process is as perfectly mapped as the corporate flow chart would have you believe, or if there’s an unofficial timetable that emerges instead,” Ms. Smiley said.
Avoid apologetic language. Another hurdle is psyching yourself up to ask. If you’re afraid to ask for a raise, you’re likely to start the conversation with something like, “I’m so sorry to bother you,” or, “I know budgets are tight right now.” Again, from your employer’s perspective, it’s not about you. It’s about the value you bring to the table, so focus on that.
“Asking for a salary increase based on your achievements is nothing to be sorry about,” Ms. Smiley said. “And if you lead with an excuse, don’t be surprised when it comes right back at you along with a ‘no.’”
Know what you’re going to say — and how you’ll say it. Here’s another script to start the conversation: “Thanks so much for taking the time to meet with me, I appreciate it. I’d like us to discuss my performance in the role, the contributions I’ve made so far, and how that positions me in terms of salary and opportunity here at The Company.”
This dialogue is polite and straightforward. You also want to show you’re engaged, Ms. Smiley said. Try something like: “I’m really enjoying my work. Leading the Big Win Project was especially rewarding.”
From there, go in for the ask. If you’re looking for a raise to match a new or enhanced role at your company, here’s what you can say: “Taking into consideration my experience and the responsibilities of this position, my salary expectation is X dollars.” If you’re simply asking for a raise in your current role, this will do: “Based on my successful track record in this role, I’m requesting a salary lift of X percent.”
Again, speaking up can often be more difficult for women or people who aren’t socialized to be assertive. In that case, it can’t hurt to practice.
“One recommendation is building negotiation experience and training,” Dr. Stuhlmacher said. “Practicing in low stakes situations can build confidence.” This might mean calling a bill provider and haggling a lower rate. Or speaking up when you want a different table at a restaurant. Get comfortable asking for small things, which will make it easier to ask for something big, like a raise.
Have a backup plan. If you get a no, you can try to ask for other benefits, like more time off, bonuses or the option to work more remotely. Better yet, ask what skills you can develop within the next few months to achieve that raise “and then do the work,” Ms. Smiley said.
“And make sure you book another review in six months to discuss progress and compensation.” Set the expectation that once you further develop these skills, it will be time to revisit the compensation conversation.
Remember, this can be a difficult conversation to have. If you feel greedy or self-conscious asking for more, it can make it easier to focus on the broader impact that your raise can have. “For your family, your community, for charities you support,” Ms. Smiley said. “It’s not just about fattening your bank account.”
